And It Rang Again

I am at this place in my life, where I have a love hate relationship with the phone. It keeps us in touch with people and for that I am grateful. It allows me to talk to my friends, family members, and others. However, lately it has also been the vehicle through which we have received challenging news. August 5th, Zoe got a call telling her that she had breast cancer. This morning, August 15th, she got a call letting her know she needs another biopsy because they found a lump in her right breast as well. In the midst of this all, I am consciously remaining grateful. I have had those moments when I find the tears rolling down my face and of course that means I have to blow my nose 17 times :(, however, it is the best I can do at this moment.
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Remembering the Headlights

Zoe and I are starting on a new adventure as we learn about breast cancer and work our respective ways through this journey. As i have been thinking about how overwhelming it can be to think about how are we going to make me through this, I found myself thinking about something Jack Canfield spoke about in the movie "The Secret". He said, “Think of this, a car driving through the night. The headlights only show 100 to 200 feet ahead, and you can make it all the way from California to New York, driving through the dark because all you need to see is the next 200 feet.That’s how life tends to unfold before us.
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Sleepless in Rochester

So here I am at 3 something in the morning, unable to sleep. I have tossed and turned, prayed, meditated and cannot seem to maintain a sustained sleep. Perhaps it is because I was so mindful of Zoe's breathing and snoring. Perhaps it was because I was so mindful of her presence in the bed next to me. Perhaps it was because since this morning, I have been realizing how much I have taken for granted in my life and forgotten to be grateful for like her snoring. We were sitting at the table at Target's waiting for my liftline bus when her cell phone rang. It was the doctor's office telling her the lump she had found in her chest was cancerous. I knew by the look on her face and the tone of her voice that something was wrong. After almost 10 years, you know these things.
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