Living with Hope

April 27, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

Hope is not a person.
Hope is what keeps me positive,
focused,
and patient.
Hope is what reminds me
there is a light at
the end of the tunnel.
So today I choose
to live with hope.

I know when hope has left,
because I become irritable,
impatient,
and agitated.
I live with fear,
frustration,
and am unfocused.
it is then that I seek
to know what I have
lost hope in

Hope is what brings
me through the storms.
Hope is the understanding
the Ultimate is holding me
and walking through it all
with me.
When I live with hope,
I live with the Ultimate
and the Ultimate lives within me.

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My Yearning

February 2, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

I sit and close my eyes
and yearn for the depth,
the closeness,
the longing to know you
and know you as completely
as you know me.

It was you who gave me the capacity to love,
to speak,
to determine,
to dream,
to hope,
to create, and
to survive.

You know me
completely
just as I yearn
to know you
with the same depth
you know me
but I don’t.

I know I will again,
perhaps not until
I am with you again
but that day will come.

Until then, I allow you
to use me,
to mold me,
to help me
become a spiritual warrior,
constantly seeking
to know the me
you created me to be

So the yearning continues
and teaches me about myself
about you
and all the other me’s you
bring into my life
who teach me and deepen
my yearning for you .

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Reflecting on my journey

January 10, 2015 Sharon Jacobson

I am in one of those spaces where I have to really listen to myself and the wisdom you have shared with me over the years. I have to laugh at how my body keeps doing things that are supposed to be a rarity. First, it was the dually obstructed kidneys. Now, it is having hydrops for the second time, especially given that only 3% of those with keratoconus have it once. While I am not excited about having to experience either, I am grateful that in the midst of it all I am holding on to my faith and am surrounded by people who love and support me unconditionally. Zoe always tells me how special I am, I guess I must be that you keep using my body to defy the odds.

Week 1, Day 2 – Hope Holds the Opportunity

December 16, 2010 Sharon Jacobson

One of the things I came to realize after journaling yesterday was that 10 minutes was just not enough time for me to really go as deep in my writing as I wanted to go. I found myself writing about wonder periodically throughout the night and throughout the day today. One of the things I found myself wondering was if I had other biological family members out there in this great big world. Every once in a while someone will tell me they met my twin somewhere. I have always wondered if my biological parents had any other children with or after me. If so, where are they? Would I even recognize them if I were sitting next to them? When I was younger, I used to wonder about this more then I do now, but sometimes I still wonder about this. Sometimes I wonder about my foster parents. I wonder what made them become foster parents. I wonder what they enjoyed most about caring for me. Sometimes I wonder why I am still alive. I wonder how I managed to survive the fetal distress I was born with. Sometimes I wonder how my brother Jess is doing and if he will ever find it within himself to speak to Mark or me again. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever make it through the day without questioning something. But there are so many other things that make me experience wonder then just questions about what I do not know.

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