Please forgive me for not sharing my journals with others for the last month. My quest with you has been really personal and not something I felt called to share. In some respects I feel like Atreyu in The Never Ending Story, I have been blessed with the opportunity to look in the mirror of truths and face things about myself that I would like to pretend do not exist, but they do. I have had to press through my fears and do things that required me to call on my courage. I have had to face the nothing in my life and destroy it.
Being on my own personal quest has not always been easy, albeit necessary for this time in my life. In the process, however, I have come to have a deeper reverence and respect for you as well as for myself. While I know you always see me for I am, there have been moments during this phase of my journey where I have had to be intentional about allowing you to see me in my most vulnerable. I know you see them anyway, but it feels different for me when I intentionally present myself to you in that state.
I am grateful for the ability to journey with you. Each day with you is amazing. I find that I am simultaneously walking with you and toward you. I feel your companionships and protection but also feel myself walking into a deeper relationship with you then I had before. I can hear you speaking to me in ways that I have not always been conscious of and for that I am grateful.
I know this quest is not over and there is more to come. I am grateful for the questions coming up for me and the answers you bring me. I am grateful for the ability to see your presence in the world around me. I am grateful for being able to drink my tea with a new reverence for every aspect of my tea (the leaves, bags, water, growers, and all those that gave to bringing it to me.). I am grateful for the deeper reverence I gain as I reflect on not just the whole, but the parts. I am grateful just to be grateful because it reminds me to take time to notice the miracles surrounding me that are so easy for me to otherwise ignore.
Whether it is spending time with our kittie boys and being in awe of how we can so often communicate with another species or appreciating the smells of nature or the journey foods have gone through to get through my table, there is a reverence for the way you work in and through my life. Thank you!