Welcome

Embrace it.
Welcome it.
That’s what Bubby would say.
Whatever the Ultimate sent to me,
welcome it,
she would say.
There is a blessing in it.
It was part of a teaching,
when you can see the blessing
in any situation,
know you will be okay.
I wish I could say
my spirit is always welcoming,
but I am working on it.
Sometimes I want to avoid the pain,
I want to avoid the struggle,
but Bubby always taught me
welcome, do not avoid.
It is about me being open
to the mysteries of life
and of the Ultimate.
It doesn’t mean I like it,
but I welcome it,
sit with it,
embrace it
and grow with it
Then I give thanks
and make sure
the doormat still says
welcome.

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I have been spending so much time thinking through my feelings about community. I know I like the idea of being part of a community, however, I grapple with the challenges of being a part of one. On the one hand, I appreciate the feeling of belong and being a part of something bigger then myself. On the other hand, I hate the feeling of never quite fitting in or living up to the communal expectations. It is feeling like you fit in when so often you feel like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole or vice versa.

I have spent most of my life feeling like I never quite fit in. The one place I feel as if I fit is in my relationship with you. It is in my relationship with you that I experience that unconditional love and acceptance. Perhaps that is because you never ask me to leave a part of me at the door. I have always known that you love for me is unconditional.

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