How are you?

I’m fine.

This seems to be one of the most common conversations we have with people and the sad truth is there is generally no honesty in this conversation Most of the times we do not genuinely want to know how others are or what they are feeling and most of us are not “fine” all the time. What does fine feel like? Are we lying to ourselves and others when we deny what we are feeling? Is this yet another mask we wear to prevent others from getting to know us or to become vulnerable in a relationship? Are we afraid to be honest with others or ourselves about what we are really feeling? We cannot begin to heal within ourselves or in our relationships with others until the wounding stops. So if denying our feelings is wounding, then we are preventing ourselves from healing.

As I wrote about in my reflection for the April 2014 issue of One Spirit, Many Voices newsletter, “Acknowledgment can be used in two ways. One is the “acceptance of the truth or existence of something.” The other is the “action of expressing or displaying gratitude or appreciation for something.” Both are important in the healing process.” Sometimes what we need to acknowledge is what is unfinished in our lives.

When I think of stories of unfinished business, I am reminded of the story in John 5. This man had been sitting at the source of his healing for 38 years waiting for others to help him or to be able to get himself in the pool next. In John 5:7 he says “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; and while I am making my way, someone else steps down ahead of me.” this man has not looked the situation in the eye, he has not acknowledged what he has not done and so passively says it is somebody else’s fault that I am in this position.

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