I say I trust God,
But do i.
I say I am listening,
But am i.
I say I feel God’s presence,
But do i.
I say I can smell God around,
But do i.
I say I can taste God in everything,
But do i
I say I can see God,
But can i.
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I have always wondered why we spend so much time trying to understand and explain that which has already told us we cannot explain. Why is it that we are not okay with not being able to explain God. Why is it not okay to just say I do not know.
The more I try to conceptualize and theorize about this force many call God, the more I realize we will never be able to do more, in this realm, then have experiences which allow us to know we have just had an encounter with the Divine. For some it is enough that we sit in those moments where we know we have experienced the presence of the Divine.
One of the liberating lessons I have learned from my study of Toltec Wisdom is that it is what it is nothing more, nothing less. What if we sat with our experiences with the Divine in that way, not making more or less of the experience then it is. When we do are we not in some way dishonoring the authenticity and uniqueness of that experience. If we dishonor the experience, are we also dishonoring the Divine.
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Pierre Teilhard de Chardin captures an important aspect of faith in these lines from a prayer.
Breathing in: Trust in . . .
Breathing out: the slow work of God.
How many of us remember to trust in the slow work of God? Last year, one of my students said to me, “It sure would be nice if God could answer your prayers in the same amount of time it takes to get a Happy Meal.” I had to stop and remind him that Happy Meals do not always make you happy, at least not in the long run, and that they are not always healthy. However his question got at an important point. How often do we expect God to hear and answer our prayers instantaneously? Do we only trust in God when they are answered quickly or do we trust in the slow work of God?
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I was so moved when I watched this video on faith. In the cover article for our monthly newsletter, I had written about how faith is a multisensory experience. I had talked about how the Universe provides us with answers to our prayers in a wide diversity of ways. In the story told in this video, this man’s prayers were answered via a license plate. Something had to draw his eyes to that license plate. Normally, when we are driving, at least from my memory of having driven, we are not paying attention to the license plates of cars on the other side of the highway or road. Even if he had pulled over to the side of the road, as in the video, the chances of him having seen that particular license plate without something directing his vision seem minimal.
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A few days ago, I read this quote by Sylvia Bookstein, which read, “Don’t just do something. Sit there.” I had spent some time thinking about what this means to me personally, but this morning as I was thinking more about trust, I began to think about how it is one’s meditation practice, which awakens our ability to trust in the knowledge that all the wisdom and compassion we need in life is already within us. When I take the time to sit there and spend time with me, then I become more aware of all of who I am, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I get to sit with my passions, my aggression, my wisdom, and my ignorance. I remember Pema Chodron talking once about a form of meditation, which meant tranquility insight. It was through this approach to meditation, which one was able to get to know each other. We gain peace and trust with and within ourselves when we get to know all of ourselves.
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When I was intentionally beginning my personal healing work, the writer my therapist was using and encouraging all clients to read was the work of John Bradshaw, author of Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. This book discusses how the process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, and it involves these six steps. The first of these six steps is trust.
The person we most need to trust in our lives is ourselves. In order for us to begin our own healing process (emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually); we must begin by trusting ourselves. For many people, our wounded inner child is in hiding. That wounded part does not trust others and to some extent does not even trust the older version of who we are. To keep themselves safe, they learned to hide until they could find someone who would be a supportive and non-shaming ally.
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There is an old Cherokee tale that I share quite frequently, normally when I am talking with someone about choices and energy. However, the other day I came to realize it was about learning to trust the voice of the Divine within. The story goes like this for those who have not heard it yet.
One evening, an elderly
Cherokee brave told his
grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people.
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Long before I was ever exposed to the book of Galatians in the New Testament, I had heard the saying “you reap what you sow.” I have come to understand that there is a truth behind this saying. Recently, someone shared with me that it was important for people to tell their torch song, that woe is me song, that somebody done me wrong song. I told them that the only thing that needed to happen with the torch song is that it needed to be torched. See when we sow our torch song and focus on all that we think is wrong with our lives, what we reap are more things that are wrong with our life.
Conversely, when we focus on the positives and the blessings in our lives, then we reap more of those in life. One of the things I have learned is that we really do reap what we sow. If I am going to sing any song, it is going to be my praise song, my what I have overcome, what I have to be grateful for, how blessed I am song. What I have come to realize in my life is that it is this positive energy, attitude, and momentum, which carries me through.
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After having spent a month reading about, reflecting on, and thinking about faith, I realized how natural it was to transition to trust. Trust is the belief in that in which we have faith. It is the ability to believe in what we know in the core of our beings to be true. We have faith in that which we trust. Simultaneously, we trust that which we have faith in, that which we know to be true at the core of our being.
Some people struggle to trust things that raise their consciousness and/or vibrational level. We sometimes wonder what we are sensing is really happening, or are we simply making this up because it feels good. So how do we trust that which can help us to grow and evolve in our connection to the Ultimate.
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It seems that today we live in a day of acronyms LOL, ROTFLMAO, TTYL, CYA, etc. Sometimes we become so accustomed to them that we assume everyone knows what they are, until they let us know that they don’t. For example, the other day someone asked me what cya stood for; she thought I was saying cover your ass and thought that was a strange way to end a conversation. I meant I will see you later. So today, I thought I would introduce two of the acronyms I use in my own life. The first is EEHH.
EEHH means empty, empty, happy, happy. I learned a meditation from either the movie or book Eat Pray Love. I am not sure I remember which one. However, I love that as a meditational mantra because it reminds to me empty myself of all of my attachments to people and things.
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How are you?
I’m fine.
This seems to be one of the most common conversations we have with people and the sad truth is there is generally no honesty in this conversation Most of the times we do not genuinely want to know how others are or what they are feeling and most of us are not “fine” all the time. What does fine feel like? Are we lying to ourselves and others when we deny what we are feeling? Is this yet another mask we wear to prevent others from getting to know us or to become vulnerable in a relationship? Are we afraid to be honest with others or ourselves about what we are really feeling? We cannot begin to heal within ourselves or in our relationships with others until the wounding stops. So if denying our feelings is wounding, then we are preventing ourselves from healing.
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It never ceases to amaze me how God hears and answers prayers. Several years ago, I experienced a change in my life that caused me to really evaluate my life. It became clear to me that I was going to have to make some changes in my life. One of the things I was praying about was whether or not to continue writing a column for a local newspaper. I told God, if I am supposed to continue doing this, then please let me know. Send me some sign that my writing this column is really making a difference. Let me know that somebody is actually reading it. Let me know that this is still one of those things that you are calling me to do.
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Have you ever been to the zoo and watched the monkeys swinging from one area to another, making the sounds as they do. On the one hand, it is fascinating to watch, at the same time after a while you need to move on, well at least I do. it is hard for me to stay focused with so much distraction. Perhaps that is why so many people have trouble meditating. Our minds are like monkeys swinging from one tree to the next, moving from one idea to another, from thinking about one thing going on in our life to another. Periodically, our minds might stop, but then we are off to swinging through ideas again.
The two problems people seem to have the most is claiming the time to meditate and silencing those monkeys.
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