No more erasing.

It was late last night, well maybe not so late, when I saw this commercial on television for this new erase stick (really not so new), which is supposed to erase all the “imperfections” from under and around women’s (not men’s) eyes and make women look years younger and healthier. I remember trying those “erase sticks” when I was younger and they never quite “erased” your “imperfections.” What makes them “imperfections” anyway? That is another reflection. However, watching the commercial made me think about how so often when we want to evolve spiritually and transform our lives, we are looking for the “erase stick,” which we can run over those aspects of our life and somehow make them invisible and make us appear as if we are spiritually healthier then we really are.
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It is not all about me.

So a many of you know Zoë and I legally were married this past Saturday after having been together for 10 years. Thank you to the State of New York for the great anniversary present. I love being with my wife. I also love being mother to my son Nicholas and all the others who have adopted me as a parent figure in their lives. I know all these relationships are part of who I was created to be and what I was created to do in this world. However, there are moments when I am not in love with any of these roles and there are even moments when I am not too pleased with life either.
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Have we got it twisted?

Henri Nouwen, in his book Living a Sacred Life in a Secular World, talks about how we have somehow managed to get our hearing and listening skills twisted. When someone says something negative, disparaging, or disaffirming to us we accept it as if it is the “gospel.” We rarely question the intent or the truthfulness of what they said to us. On the other hand, when someone pays us a compliment, our critical thinking skills seem to kick in, and we wonder what that person wants, why did they say that, why are they lying to me and cross-examination their affirmation as if it were a hostile witness being cross examined. What if we reversed this pattern in our life? What would happen if we graciously accepted and internalized that which was served to us with love and suspiciously eyed that which was not before choosing to throw it in the trashcan. Sometimes it seems as if we do this with other aspects of our life as well. So often, I hear people focusing on lack, rather then abundance.
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Playing hide and seek

Recently, I read this quote from a book by Ray Dodd called The Power of Belief. In it he wrote, “Belief colors every experience and determines how we react in any situation, yet we are often unaware of the hidden beliefs that guide us.” Being mindful of these hidden beliefs is like playing hide and seek. The beliefs, which guide our life, have already hidden themselves. It is our job to seek them out, expose them, and then decide what purpose they play in our lives if any. So often, we are not mindful of these hidden beliefs.
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