Week 9, Day 5 – Death

The choices for today were:

1.                  write down five “big” questions, then use clustering and streaming to explore them. you might start with “why am I here?”

2.                  what worries you about death? Give attention to your feelings and let them engulf you. then spill those feelings all over the page. Write about death as the stranger you want to know.

3.                  we dot know how we will die or when or what survives. What are your thoughts on these issues? do some wild writing with large paper and crayon and see what “shadow thoughts” are brought up and scrawled across the page. Let your thoughts tip! Now take any surprising thoughts to gazing into the waters and streaming.

4.                  if this were the last day of your life what you would you do? what if this were the last year? How would you rearrange your priorities? Write the new commitments you can make to yourself. use listmaking.

If this were the last day of my death, and I knew it, I think I would make a point of being with those people who are nearest and dearest to me and sharing stories of love and gifts that I would want them to have. I would want the opportunity to say goodbye to them in my own way and on my own terms. I would not want it to be somber, but a time of celebration. I would eat and drink whatever I wanted and throw all caution to the wind. I am reminded of this scene from the movie Chocolat and how the old woman celebrated her last birthday. That is what I would do if it were my last day. the practical side of me would make sure I sent an email and an excel file to my department chair so she knew how students were doing, I would let Zoe know what I wanted for my homegoing, and I would write a final reflection for Inspiritual telling everyone thank you for being part of my ride. And of course, I would leave Zoe a things to do list, which she will definitely procrastinate in doing.

If this were the last year of my life, hmm, I am not sure I would do anything different then I am now. I would continue to live each day to its fullest, continue to be a messenger of love, and continue to spoil Zoe rotten. The one thing I would do different would be to have Zoe drive me to Georgia so I could see Nick one last time and say goodbye to him face to face. I would take more time to get things in order, so Zoe would have so little to do after I was gone. I would spend as much time building memories with her as I could and make sure she finished graduate school while I was still here to kick her butt and keep her on task.

What new commitments would I make to myself? None really. Zoe and I have already made some new commitments to ourselves this year.  Eat healthier, make each other exercise, spend quality time with each other, and enjoy life.

Looking forward to enjoying a quiet, peaceful, and spiritual last years of our lives together.