The last few days I have been feeling as if I was entering a different state of being and have not been able to figure out where this shift is coming from. Then I remembered that this is October, the month where my body remembers to grieve the loss of my god-daughter, the leaving the adoption center, the birth into my family, the severing of yet one more umbilical cord in my life and the creation of another one.
Reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s book on fear has reminded me how you have always been my umbilical cord. When it was time for me to leave the safety of my birth mother’s womb, you were there to protect me. You brought me into your utero for just a moment while they worked on saving my human life and the life of my birth mother. Even when my spirit returned to my infant body, my umbilical cord to you remained attached. When I was moved to the foster home, my umbilical cord to you remained attached. When I was brought to the adoption center, my umbilical cord to you remained attached. When my parents adopted me, my umbilical cord to you remained attached.
There have been times in my life when I have been more aware of its presence in my life then other times. However, I realized the other day that you have always ensured that I was receiving the spiritual nutrients I needed. When I have needed to experience the safety of the womb, you have enabled me to swim around in your fluids, splish splashing as if I were taking a bath in your waters of love and light. However, you have always brought me back to this realm to continue on the path that I was sent here to blaze.
Today, you continue to be my umbilical cord, but last night I realized you have created this womb of protection around me and I swim in the fluids of love, which flow, from your love and light to me through my spirit guides, guardian angels, and others that you have sent into my life.
You have always said that you would never forget or forsake me. I am so grateful for the reminder that no matter what is going on in this world, my spiritual nurturance and guidance comes from you. You are the source of the water in which I swim and baptize myself daily. You are the source of my spiritual strength. You are the one who ensures that I am always attached to you. My physical birth might have been the source of my original fear, but you are the everlasting source of my original peace.