It has been a challenging few weeks and I know there is more to come. The awesome thing for me is that I know that even when it may feel like you are not there for me, you really are. Over the course of my journey with you, I have learned a few key lessons for which I am truly grateful. Maybe the first is about where I put my focus. It is easy when I am going through to focus on what is going wrong and what you are not doing for me.
The reality is that even when I am going through, you are doing things for me. So I always work to focus on what you are doing for me in my life. This keeps me joyful and encouraged, no matter what else is going on in my life. Writing in my gratitude journal every day helps me remember to give thanks for everything in my life. Sometimes I go back and read the entries from my past and it helps me to stay focused on how blessed I am.
Even last week, when Fonda aka John made transition, it was easy to stay joyful in my grief. I began to give thanks for all the people who surrounded him and Jeffrey the last few years. I was joyful he is no longer suffering. I am joyful he got to spend his 43rd birthday with his mother. I am joyful that I can grieve.
This morning someone asked me how I was and I said I was awesome. I woke up this morning so I am blessed, but even if I did not wake up this morning, I would still be blessed. It is like Albert Einstein once said, "You can live your life as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle" I know that everything in my life is a miracle.
It brings so much joy into my life when I remember how blessed I am to have you in my life. You pay attention to every detail of my life and you love me unconditionally. How joyous is that? I can have a conversation with you anytime I want and I don’t have to worry about whether I have minutes left on my phone plan, how much data I am using or what the long distance charges are going to be. I am joyful that you do not charge me to have those conversations, even though they are always therapeutic. You never charge me a copay, tell me I need an appointment, or sit in judgment of me. I am joyful that I can just be with you and that I never have to edit my thought or my feelings.
So yes, things are hard sometimes and I would prefer not to go through some experiences, but even those are blessings and so I remember to give thanks in all circumstances. This helps me to remember that behind every situation is a blessing from you and that helps me to continue to practice joy.
So thank you for loving me unconditionally and helping me stay joyful