It was Saturday morning when Zoe’s Aunt Joan took her last breath. I feel weird saying Zoe’s Aunt because she meant so much to me as well. When the news came, both of us felt our hearts break and knew our lives would never be the same again. Joanie was one of those people who made a difference in your life. She was the first person in the family to welcome me with open arms. In my last conversation with her, she said, “I am so glad Zoe found you.” It seemed a bit out of character for her then, and even now, but the love and peace in those words continues to minister to me and I know will for time to come.
This whole weekend has been sad as we were also informed of the death of a 20 year old student where I teach. I have come to expect death and passing, but that does not mean I like it. As I have talked about death with friends, they have shared memories of how even years later something will trigger their grief and bring back memories of someone they love. A friend of mine shared that sometimes she just breaks down in tears over the passing of a 17 year old that was near and dear to her heart. One thing we have all agreed on is that none of us grieve the same way. This weekend Zoe has just wanted to read. I, who normally fills my day working through piles has just wanted to cry and sleep.
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Long before I was ever exposed to the book of Galatians in the New Testament, I had heard the saying “you reap what you sow.” I have come to understand that there is a truth behind this saying. Recently, someone shared with me that it was important for people to tell their torch song, that woe is me song, that somebody done me wrong song. I told them that the only thing that needed to happen with the torch song is that it needed to be torched. See when we sow our torch song and focus on all that we think is wrong with our lives, what we reap are more things that are wrong with our life.
Conversely, when we focus on the positives and the blessings in our lives, then we reap more of those in life. One of the things I have learned is that we really do reap what we sow. If I am going to sing any song, it is going to be my praise song, my what I have overcome, what I have to be grateful for, how blessed I am song. What I have come to realize in my life is that it is this positive energy, attitude, and momentum, which carries me through.
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Last week, I wrote about the importance of leaning in. This Sunday, I was blessed with an opportunity to practice what I teach. It was one of those times, and maybe you have been there, where you are invited to an event you really do not want to go to. It is not that you cannot physically go. It is that you do not want to go. As a friend of mine said, it was one of those awkward times like when you are invited to your ex’s wedding. You are happy they have moved on and found someone who makes them happy, you wish them well, but you do not need to go to the wedding. It was that kind of thing.
So this Sunday morning was one of those moments for me. I knew the minute I saw the invitation I was not going to go.
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