I am a Spiritual Warrior

This afternoon, my body is speaking loudly to me and asking me what were you thinking yesterday. Do you know how sore we are today? Heck, it hurts just to lift this one leg up and you did this to us why? Then there is the other part of my body, which seems to be saying thank you, yes it was painful and uncomfortable, but you made it through. So now, you know you can walk through the discomfort of moving up and down the hallway. Now you know that you can train your body to walk up and down the driveway, then to the mailbox, and by January, you will be able to use your walker on the days you have to go to Brockport to teach.  

So why did I say I was going to do this yoga boot camp? I know that was not what it was called, but it was like that only with a kinder and gentler drill sergeant. I am not sure, however that the workout could have been much harder. So what did I learn yesterday? I am a spiritual warrior. I have been so for a while. I have been using my internal saber to cut through all the crap in my life and clear it out of my way. I have chopped through everything which was holding me back or down or limiting my growth and transformation and cleansed my space. I had done that work emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. However, I had not yet done it physically and that is really what yesterday was for me.

It was my opportunity to give my body the opportunity to release everything, which was stored up in various parts and cut it loose. I am not quite sure how much time we spent with our arms like sabers chopping through stuff, but it was the most empowering thing I have ever done. I started off cutting through some of the easier and newer crap in my life, but then as I moved deeper into my clearing my path, I realized I was coming into contact with some wounds that had been in my body for decades and it was time for them to go. The saber I had in my hand was not powerful enough to remove some of them, so I had to become a jackhammer to cut through and blast them free. It was painful and there were times I felt the pain as they fought leaving a place where they had felt too comfortable. It was at that moment that I understood why I was here, I was on a search and destroy mission. It was one of the greatest battles of my life and I could not, not win. As Hari Nam had said when you commit to doing something there is not a plan B, so plan A was that I would confront and destroy any demon that I encountered during the day. What was amazing for me was how I found myself getting stronger and stronger throughout the day.

Hari Nam asked that we give 100% and I can honestly say that I did. I fought my way through the day knowing that there was not a plan B. I was not going to give up. It was not an option. Here I was in this room with a group of spiritual warriors I had never met before and I felt this sense of responsibility and loyalty to them. I had to stay strong and forge through so that I could help those who were not feeling as strong at the moment and they would do the same for me.

Hari Nam said do whatever it takes. I remember the last exercise of the day; I just wanted to give up. I wanted to stop chopping through the crap and I could hear my grandmother’s voice telling me to give thanks. She used to always say when you can see the good in a bad situation you know you are going to be ok. So I started saying “Thank you.” with each chop of my arms, I said thank you. Thank you for giving me the strength to make it this far. Thank you for the transformation you are bringing about within me. Thank you for my trusting myself enough to know I can do this. Thank you for being there for me to help me through. Thank you for all that you have done, all that you are doing, and all that you have yet to do. And most of all thank you for reminding me that I am a spiritual warrior.