Siting With My Demons

December 8, 2023 Sharon Jacobson

Sitting With My Demons

I have always been taught to avoid demons,
but my journey to grow
keeps bringing me back to them.
I have come to realize they are there to help me,
to challenge me,
to help me move through that which is limiting me.
They are there to bless me,
but only if I use them to grow and evolve.
The longer I try to avoid them,
the more they
seem to haunt me.
Rather than run from them,
I now sit with them,
and seek the wisdom of the Ultimate
in how to use them to help me evolve.

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Shedding

July 1, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

Shedding

Change is never easy.
I have to remind myself
that growing and evolving,
requires me to shed
off the old skin,
habits,
attitude,
and anything else holding me back.
I have to shed the old
so the new can come.
Shedding is about me letting go
of all which kept me
from saying yes to the possibilities,
and the opportunities
Shedding is a process
of releasing and accepting.
it is not a one time process,
but an ongoing journey
where I welcome the newness
coming to as
ever time I shed the old.

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My Darkness

March 13, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

My Darkness

So often, we are told to fear
the darkness.
Darkness can be
damaging and empowering.
Darkness is about how we approach it,
how we see it,
and how we embrace it.
My darkness has ushered me
into new phases of my journey with the Ultimate.
My darkness has allowed me
to cross into the lightest of experiences.
My darkness has offered me an opportunity
to release and let go.
to grow and evolve,
to learn and transform.

My darkness
is not about evil,
it is about the light
which leads me
to places I could not go
had I not traveled through it
or understood without it.
My darkness
is not permanent, but temporary,
not static, but evolving,
not evil, but divine.
My darkness is a gift
which I accept, learn from and move through.

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Journaling

September 12, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

I struggle to journal
or so I said,
but I have my journals
where I have chronicled
what I am grateful for,
what inspires me,
what I intend to manifest,
and what brings me joy.
It never ceases to amaze me
the memories and
the lessons
which come back to me
when I go back and read them.
I see patterns,
understandings,
beliefs,
attitudes,
and actions,
when I look back
and see things I
could not see in the moment.
I see growth,
I see emotion,
I see healing,
I see transformation.
I laugh,
cry,
and sit in the moments
my entries bring back
and then I give thanks
get inspired
and remember
what I wanted to manifest
and what I need to do
to bring more joy into my life

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My Tears

July 17, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

My tears
they roll down my face
and sometimes
when I am having a good cry
they moisten the ground
because the pain flowing
out of my heart is so power
and so intense.
Like the Native Americans
of days gone by
I leave a trail of tear.
These tears are a trail
that pre pare me for the future.
My tears are like rain,
they keep the soil most
so growth can happen.
My tears
keep my heart moist
so it never becomes
hard and uncaring.
My tears
keep me humble
and help me give
thanks for all I have
not had to endure in my life.
My tears
keep me connected
to humanity and
allow me to empathize
with their pain.
My tears
enable me to give thanks
to the universe
for the pain and suffering
without which
I would not be me.

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Darkness and Light

July 12, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

Darkness and light,
they are not as separate
as we would want them to be.
It seems like each step
I take towards the light,
I see a bit more of the darkness.
With each step I move forward
I am confronted by that which
I need to let go of.
it is like a dance with the partner
I want to be with
and the shadows that live within me.
I tell myself I can do this
and the shadows surface and
remind me all I need to let go of
the self doubt,
the fear of being abandoned,
the voices saying I am not enough
and then the light speaks to me
and reminds I can do this
and I will never be alone
and I have everything I need
to achieve my dreams
I just need to believe.
So I focus on
believing and achieving
and know that I am not alone
in having to find the courage
to battle my darkness.
In the process,
I give thanks for the darkness
because it brings me
closer to the light.

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Room for Improvement

May 1, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

No one knows me
the way the Ultimate knows me.
I would like to say
I know myself well,
but I don’t.

The Ultimate creates opportunities
for me to learn about me
in ways I may not always like.
I get to see that which I appreciate
and that which needs improvement.

I have friends who think
they know me, but in all honesty
they only know what they have been
allowed to see or experience.
They only see what I allow them to see,
or experience,
and the person I allow them to
get to know.

However, in my relationship
with the Ultimate I get to say
love me,
mold me,
transform me
and make me better
than I or anyone else
will ever know.

Help me become who
you created me to be.
Help me to become a
reflection of your love,
wisdom,
grace,
mercy,
compassion,
and all
you wish me to be.

I know there will always
b e room for improvement,
but for today I ask you
to help me grow,
and become a better me
then I was yesterday
and that tomorrow
you will bless me in the same manner
always creating
room for improvement
in my life.

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We Get By

October 27, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

We get by
with a little help
from our friends,
from our spiritual community
and from those who journey with us.

We get by because they
inspire us,

encourage us,
challenge us,
laugh with us,
and love us unconditionally
for who we are in this moment.

We get by
because of this unconditional acceptance.
We get by because
they help us laugh at ourselves.
We get by because
they help us heal.
We get by because
it is easier then being
on this journey alone.

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No More Fear

July 12, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

Fear is like a fence
around my mind,
my body,
my soul, and
my world.

It restricts me,
my view,
my interactions,
my experiences, and
my life.

Fear looks like
its protecting,
providing safety,
security, and
peace.
in reality,
it is imprisoning,
restricting,
and limiting.

Today I live
without fear.
i know I have
nothing to fear.
I am embrace the
opportunities to grow,
to evolve,
and to be transformed.
This is why I live
without fear.

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Caring for my Heart

June 21, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

Go to the gym
because your body needs
exercise.
Eat healthy.
All things in moderation.
These are a few of the things
I hear about caring for my body.

My heart needs more than
a cardio workout.
It needs love.
It needs to be touched,
caressed,
molded,
educated, and
refined.

It needs words,
actions,
feelings,
sounds,
images,
scents,
and ideas
which reach in and
caress my heart.

It comes to me through prayer,
meditation,
music.
art,
poetry,
and the whispers from above.

Sometimes it is the
creations of others
and sometimes it is the
conversations of my soul.
My poetry is
one way I speak
to my heart
and hopefully
to the hearts of others.

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Reflecting on my journey

January 10, 2015 Sharon Jacobson

I am in one of those spaces where I have to really listen to myself and the wisdom you have shared with me over the years. I have to laugh at how my body keeps doing things that are supposed to be a rarity. First, it was the dually obstructed kidneys. Now, it is having hydrops for the second time, especially given that only 3% of those with keratoconus have it once. While I am not excited about having to experience either, I am grateful that in the midst of it all I am holding on to my faith and am surrounded by people who love and support me unconditionally. Zoe always tells me how special I am, I guess I must be that you keep using my body to defy the odds.

I am not a victim

October 18, 2014 Sharon Jacobson

Dear God,

I would like to thank you for the reminder that everything, which happens in my life, is for the good, even when I do not realize it now. Others may look at my life and see the trials and tribulations. I look at my life and give thanks for all you have done for me. I have actively chosen to believe that you do not do things to me as some form of punishment, but for me as a tool to help me grow and continue to be of service. Yes, I have had others say hurtful things to me, but you have taught me that their words are about them, not me. Yes, I have had others abuse me, but their pain, which they targeted towards me, is about them, not me. It is only about me if I believe it is about me and as you have taught me through the teachings of don Miguel Ruiz. The words and the language I use have power and I choose to use words that create positive realities and energy. It is through my word that I create and this power to create is a gift you bestowed on me.

Letting Go and Letting Grow

May 24, 2014 Sharon Jacobson

Last night, during our living the five agreements group we began talking about Bryon Katie’s book “Loving What Is: Four Questions that will change your life.” For me, her “The Work” is similar to what Toltecs call stalking. As I was sharing one of the stories about relationship from her book, I came to realize that I have to accept that my son is growing up. As much as he will always, in some respects, be my little boy. He, in reality, is now a 32 year old man who is developing his own way in the world and no longer needs to talk to me as often as he once did. I realized I have had to let go and let him grow. He will call when he needs to talk to me and I will call when I need to talk to him.

Nick came into my life when he was 10 and until recently he would call at least weekly. Now, he has entered this new phase in his life and calls about once a month or every other month

Evolving, Not Revolving

December 27, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

Dear Universal Consciousness,

I just wanted to thank you for reminding me what a difference an R can make. It made me think about the story I was once told about how the difference between evolving and revolving is an R. if I keep doing or believing the same thing repeatedly, then I am not evolving. It is as if I am trapped in one of those revolving doors, which I have often seen in a department store. I am just revolving through life and not evolving.

It is reassuring to remember that I do not have to believe in or agree to the same things for my entire life. As I grow and evolve, what I believe should also change. What I believe is in my mind. They only have power over me as long as I agree that they are true and give them power in my life. When I realize they no longer need to reside in my mind, I can say to them, “you are no longer true” and release them from my Book of Law.

I am successful.

November 16, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling unsuccessful. I know that is a lie, so I had to begin the work of figuring out why that thought resurfaces so that I could pull it up by its roots and eliminate it. I came to realize that it has nothing to do with anyone else, it is all about me, and how I have defined success. If one were to look at my resume or CV, one might perceive me as successful. I have won national and international awards for my scholarship; I have a bachelor's degree, two master’s degrees, and a doctorate. I have a number of small businesses that I operate and teach part time at a local university. I have two furry feline sons, a wife of 12 years who loves me unconditionally, and a circle of friends who have journeyed with me through good times and bad.

Alone

October 19, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

One of my homework questions was how did you feel when you heard don Miguel Ruiz say, “You are born alone, you grow up alone and you will die alone”? I am not sure how to describe what I was feeling. There is a part of me that was like ok, am I supposed to feel surprised, upset, or scared. The part of that sentence that scared me the most was that I might die alone. Then I was like ok, so what. I am never alone. The Infinite is always with me, so even when there is not another human being with me, I am never alone. I am always with me, so I am never alone.

I am a Spiritual Warrior

September 23, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

This afternoon, my body is speaking loudly to me and asking me what were you thinking yesterday. Do you know how sore we are today? Heck, it hurts just to lift this one leg up and you did this to us why? Then there is the other part of my body, which seems to be saying thank you, yes it was painful and uncomfortable, but you made it through. So now, you know you can walk through the discomfort of moving up and down the hallway. Now you know that you can train your body to walk up and down the driveway, then to the mailbox, and by January, you will be able to use your walker on the days you have to go to Brockport to teach.

Who am I talking with?

June 23, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

When I am sitting in a room with others, then I know who I am speaking to and hopefully I know who is listening. However, there are times that I hear myself speaking and there are not words coming out of my mouth. It is at that time, I realize that many of the conversations I have in life are with me. Sometimes those conversations are about things I need to do. Like this morning, I was telling myself what I needed to accomplish today. Other times, however, I find myself critically listening to what I am saying in my brain and deciding if I believe what I am saying.

Dear Sharon

October 4, 2011 Sharon Jacobson

Dear Sharon – I just wanted to let you know how proud I was of you yesterday. You spoke your truth in love. In a space where you could have responded out of anger, you chose to respond out of love and compassion and help the other person release their guilt. I know that forgiving them was important. I also know forgiving yourself was equally important. In doing so, you set both of you free. I know there were moments where you wanted to listen to the Inner Judge telling you how this was your fault. However, you need to remember that when you made the decision you did, it was the best decision you could have made in those circumstances

Week 9, Day 7 – Rewarding Yourself, The Grand Adventure

February 16, 2011 Sharon Jacobson

The goal for today was to plan this great adventure to some place we want to go and go there. my great adventure is to go ride the ferries in New York state. I love ferries. We were to write about what permits us or doesn’t permit us to have what we want right now. We were to write down what the world of our wealth is right now. She also suggested we right about how the state of your birth, the feelings of your future, and eh wanderings of today affect and show who you are. Write what you know about rebirth in living. Write what your soulful self wants you to know. So if I were really going to have this grand adventure, I would do one of two things.

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