I keep waking up!

This whole week I have been thinking about waking up. Not that physical kind of waking up, although I have been waking up with more physical energy then I have had for a while. Maybe that is related to my physically reawakening my body and making myself walk every 90 minutes whether I like it or not. It hurts and sometimes I can’t wait to get back to my chair, however, I know this is all good and it is all about my intentional journey to wholeness. My physical wellness was one of those areas where I could honestly say I was not doing my best.
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Week 6, Day 2 – Risk Taking

Ok, so I know that these were the inspirational things to think about as I reflect about risk taking, but as I was reading what Janelle wrote about risk taking, there was this one sentence that stuck out to me. She wrote, “Every time someone shares a struggle, he or she is saying that this is what counts and I’m trying to learn how to live it.” It made me go wow. For the last few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about why I have felt so compelled to share my journaling on my website. At the core of my being, I knew this was something I had to do. I have been thinking to myself, how can I expect others to do the hard work along the way of this journey if I am not willing to do it myself. And I felt like it was important to be transparent with those I am journeying and say look it is not always easy and sometimes we all fall down, but then we get back up again. So reading Janelle’s statement made me go hmm – I am a risk taker.
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Week 5, Day 6 -- Prayer

When I was in my pastorate, my prayers varied from my corporal prayers during worship, to prayers that were more individualistically tailored to the person and the situation, yet still a bit more on the formal side. When I am praying for myself, my prayers vary from those said quietly inside my head to those that I say aloud. Pray for me is about me having a personal conversation with the Creator. It is about me stepping out in faith out of a personal agreement between the Creator and myself. Prayer for me is a statement of faith confirming the agreement that I have with the Creator. It is about the agreement that the co-creator is constantly working with me as I work to transform my life and to move from being a spiritual warrior who is working to live her life in a constant state of awareness and transformation. I know that the Creator is with me as I seek to live out the challenge in Romans 12:8, which is one of my favorite scriptures – do not be conformed to the ways of this world, but be transformed in it through the renewing of one’s mind.
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Week 3, Day 1 – Releasing others control over us

I had never thought about myself as being a controlling person, until last night. I had always been more mindful of how I had been controlled and whose should I had agreed to follow. However, it while listening to an associate who was sharing with me how her life is just one struggle after another. I could appreciate where she was at because there was not a positive anywhere in her conversation. Everything was negative. Nobody liked her, nothing was going right. It was one negative after another and she could not understand why her life was so miserable or why she could not get a break in life. At one point as she was speaking, there was this voice in the back of my head that was singing some song from my childhood that goes something like nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms. What I should have done was just listen, but
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Week 2, Day 2 – Anger

so I went to bed last night thinking about anger, knowing that this was the word for today – the emotion for today – the flavor of the day – my friends would and have told me that I do not do anger well. there are so many times that I have felt like I have exploded and yelled at someone and then when I go to apologize for how I voiced my anger, they look at me like what are you talking about? When did you yell at us? Really – did you think you were angry. I guess it is how I voice my anger that has made all the difference. But the thing about anger that frustrates me is that at times, not so much anymore, but there are times I feel like I should apologize for getting angry and that makes me angry.
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