A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted the following on his Facebook page. “I've come into a higher CONSCIOUSNESS that to RELINQUISH and to SURRENDER are entirely two different things and I no longer want to GIVE UP.... I want to ACCEPT that I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING and ACCEPT that my control is LIMITED. Periodically, over the last few weeks I have been thinking about what he said and realized that he, like many people associate the word “surrender” with negative energy and meanings. He was, like so many other people I know, viewing it as a weakness or deficiency. He saw surrendering as giving up. Another friend of mine told me those who surrender are losers.
I have been thinking about what the word surrender for me. However, I have not been able to agree with what he said about surrender. See in my Dream, the word “surrender” is a positive.
Read moreThis morning I was talking to Zoe’s friend Barb who had come
to visit for a couple of days. We were talking about my blog on testicles,
which she enjoyed and she asked me where I got the inspiration for my blogs. I told
her I could find inspiration in just about anything. I look for a message from
the Infinite in all that I see and do in life. Later this morning, I asked her
to bring me one of three boxes of Toltec Wisdom cards in the guestroom and then
pick a card, which she did. I told her this would be the inspiration for my
journal entry this week. The title on the front was “Create a Beautiful Dream.”
Read moreTonight has been one of those nights when I have been reminded of how powerless and out of control, I am. It has been one of those nights when the only thing I can do is stand on my faith and know that the Infinite will work it all out. It has been one of those nights when all I can do is pray. Being a parent has its moments of deep joy and those moments where all one can do is stand on one’s faith and know that everything is going to be ok. My son, Nicholas adopted me about 19 years ago. He gave birth to our relationship in his heart and while legally we will never be related, don’t ever try to tell him I am not his mom, because he will tell you how wrong you are in a heartbeat. He has had one of those lives that would make a lifetime made for TV movie and not in a good way. He has lived through more things then you could ever wish upon anyone and yet in the midst of it all, he has managed to stay surrounded by messengers of love who have used their gifts to help him heal, grow and evolve to the young man he is today.
Read moreI am not so good at creating little ditties, I generally say gurl count your blessings. But I do have this song that carol king sang that I just love. It reminds me to press on because as long as I have my relationship with the Creator then everything is going to be ok. It is called Pocket Money by Carol King. I had to look up the lyrics. It’s funny; I used to sing this song in the 1970’s when she first recorded it. It has been one of those songs that I have sung in my head and to myself for almost 30 years now. Not sure what it is about the song that speaks to me. Maybe it is the reminder that it is all about perspective. no matter how bad I think things are for me, I know somebody else is going through some thing just as challenging, if not more so then me.
Read moreI just want to give thanks for a new perspective on yesterday. As I was praying about my not having liftline services for a few weeks, I found myself having some new revelations. The first was that this was just going to be about 3 weeks of not being able to go places. However, it was just a few years ago, that I had to spend five months in bed and was in far more pain and on so many more pain medications then I am now. If I could make it through five months, I can surely make it through three weeks. It is all about perspective. Then I began to think about how I had begun to take this liftline service for granted. Is it perfect, NO! There are some real systemic issues with the service. However, I am grateful to even have the service. I guess it took the Creator saying, hmm, see this can be gone like that to make me realize how grateful I am to even have the service. So thank you! It made me realize how often I take things for granted and do not give thanks for them as much as I should. It is like breathing, how often we forget to give thanks for the simple things, like breathing, moving a limb, going to the bathroom independently, taking a shower by ourselves, being able to hold a bottle by ourselves, drink, or eat by ourselves. All of a sudden, I found myself giving thanks for something that yesterday had made me feel frustrated. As I came to think about where the fear was coming from, it was related to my job and not being able to get to school. And then I found myself going gurl, do you not have faith in the Creator. This too will pass and it will all be ok. You have already done every thing you had to do and now it is in the hands of the Creator. So chill and give thanks for even this time. What a difference prayer and meditation can make.
Probably the feeling I have to work on the most is
Read moreI had never thought about myself as being a controlling person, until last night. I had always been more mindful of how I had been controlled and whose should I had agreed to follow. However, it while listening to an associate who was sharing with me how her life is just one struggle after another. I could appreciate where she was at because there was not a positive anywhere in her conversation. Everything was negative. Nobody liked her, nothing was going right. It was one negative after another and she could not understand why her life was so miserable or why she could not get a break in life. At one point as she was speaking, there was this voice in the back of my head that was singing some song from my childhood that goes something like nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms.
What I should have done was just listen, but
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