It is scary when you find yourself telling others exactly what you need to tell yourself. Makes you go hmm, ok God are you having her say this so I can tell myself what I need to hear. A friend of mine from the Whole Living Community was talking about not being productive because she had taken too much time for herself this past weekend and not gotten her normal weekend chores done. As I was writing to her, I found myself convicting myself especially when I realized it had been weeks since I had claimed the time to write in my own journal. Here this private space that is just for me to write my own meanderings about me. And then I remembered that one of my promises to myself had been to take time for me everyday. So when did I start agreeing that I was not worthy of paying myself with some personal time for me. Not Sharon the professor, the mother, the partner, the spiritual director, the sister, or any other role I play for people, but just me. On the one hand, I know that I cannot help others if I am not taking care of myself and in a lot of respects I do that. However, journaling for me has always been that place where I think things through, have conversations with the Divine, and evolve to that higher place in my life. It seems as if once I wake up and get going there is that daily ritual of things I do and journaling had fallen out of that. In part, because I was allowing the day to fill me with distractions. So last night, I asked the Infinite to help me find that quiet time in my life that was just for me to sit and write what was in my heart.
Then at around 5 am this morning, I found myself getting out of this toasty warm bed to go to the bathroom. It is that moment when you know you have to get out of bed, but you really do not want to get out from under the toasty warm pillows. As I climbed out of bed, I realized that my body had been waking me up around the same time all week and that I had been doing this thinking in my head during this very quiet time in our house when the only things stirring is Mr Mittens begging for a few cat treats before he took over my side of the bed (to keep it warm for me is what he told me).
The Infinite had been providing me with the quiet space I needed and I had not even realized it. I guess I could have gone directly back to bed, but then I would have missed this quiet time with myself and God. the bed will still be, the covers will still be warm thanks to Zoë and Mr. Mittens and I have taken the time to remember that I am worthy of a few minutes just for me.
Then I heard the Infinite say, “I am glad you finally remembered that. Now don’t forget it. You tell others that all the time. Remember that you too are worthy my daughter.”
Thank you!
You are so welcome! You know you are so special. You are unique and you are precious and you were created in my image.
Thank you!
Do you really get that. I created you as love, to be love and when you are the love I created you to be, then you are living in the fullness of the moment.
Lol. That sounds like what Ray Kroc, founder of McDonalds once said, “If your green you’re growing, if your ripe, you rot.”
Sort of. When you are love, you are living. When you are not love, you are not. So keep being love my sweetness. Never stop because that is what I brought you into this world to do.
Love?
Yes, that is what I have brought each of you into this world to do – be love.
Thank you.
Aren’t you cold?
Yes.
Then perhaps you should go curl up under that amazingly warm blanket I provided you with and get a few more hours of sleep.
Ok. Night.
Morning
Yeah – right morning J Thanks for the morning conversation.