Who am I talking with?

When I am sitting in a room with others, then I know who I am speaking to and hopefully I know who is listening. However, there are times that I hear myself speaking and there are not words coming out of my mouth. It is at that time, I realize that many of the conversations I have in life are with me. Sometimes those conversations are about things I need to do. Like this morning, I was telling myself what I needed to accomplish today. Other times, however, I find myself critically listening to what I am saying in my brain and deciding if I believe what I am saying. Is what I am saying to myself of love or is it degrading in some way.

Some of the conversations I have, I believe come from the Spirit within me who guides me to understandings, which I was not even aware I had. For example, the other night we were having a conversation about death and dying. One person talked about her fear of dying and others shared some of their experiences with death and dying. All of a sudden, I felt prompted to leave the room. A few minutes after leaving and going into a quiet space an understanding seemed to flow into my brain. Once I heard it, I recognized it as truth and then returned to the room and shared it. It made me remember how I need to listen to that intuitive voice within me through which Spirit speaks.

Growing up I was taught to listen to and learn from many people: parents, teachers, relatives, etc. however, with few exception did people teach me to listen to my intuitive Spirit. Perhaps the person who was my first teacher in this regards was my Bubby (Yiddish for grandmother). Whenever we would go to visit her, or she would come to visit us, she would look at me and if she sensed something off in my spirit, she would say, “Come Sara Bella, let’s go for a walk.” then we would walk in silence for a while until she was ready to speak. Then she would stop and tell me what I needed to hear and then we could return to the house. Years later, she would tell me to always listen to the voice of God who lived within me. She taught me that the voice of God within me always spoke the truth; everything else was up for interpretation. This for me was one of the most powerful lessons that I learned early in life.

That fifty years later it is still an integral part of my belief system is a miracle. It is one of the key agreements on which I base my life and enable myself to grow and broaden my dream. Across the years, others have attempted to teach me other things. Some have managed to seep into my mind and others never made it in. each day, when I have those conversations with myself, I remember the lesson of my Bubby who reminds me if it is not the voice of God, I must critically think about whether it needs to continue to live in my mind. The more I am able to remove the lies, which live within my mind, the more I am able to replace them with messages of love. While I enjoy having conversations with my friends, I would prefer that the conversations I have within myself be with the voice of love and the voice of the Spirit, not the lies of the planet.