The other day I challenged my readers to think about what they know, not what they believe, but what do they have that deep knowing about, that unshakable faith about. After having put that out there for people to think about, I realized I needed to do the same. I needed to articulate what I know, not what I believe. Today, this is my intent, to begin to articulate what I know and pray that the words exist to help me explain the unexplainable.
One thing I know for sure is that there is an Ultimate Consciousness in the Universe and regardless of what one believes, the journey one is on, or what one even calls this source, it exists. To discuss how one calls upon this source is something I choose not to do. It is as productive as discussing whether one calls a carbonated beverage soda, pop, coke, etc. What is important, for me, is that one acknowledges one’s source. How I have called upon this Divine source has changed over time in my life and still changes depending on whom I am speaking with about the Divine.
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Seriously, I know that the Ultimate works in mysterious ways, but Duck Dynasty. If anybody had told me a year ago, I would have had the spiritual reaction that I did while watching a Duck Dynasty marathon on A and E, I would have called them a liar. Seriously, Duck Dynasty? I remember when I first saw the ads about a year ago. Nothing in them screamed – watch me. Last night, I was sitting with our housemate while he was resting his back and somehow I was sucked into this mix of honesty and humor with an underlying thread of spirituality.
As I have been thinking about what it was about the episodes I watched that I appreciated, I think it was the ability to trust their intuition, to capitalize on each other’s gifts, and to create something beautiful out of what others could not appreciate.
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When I am sitting in a room with others, then I know who I am speaking to and hopefully I know who is listening. However, there are times that I hear myself speaking and there are not words coming out of my mouth. It is at that time, I realize that many of the conversations I have in life are with me. Sometimes those conversations are about things I need to do. Like this morning, I was telling myself what I needed to accomplish today. Other times, however, I find myself critically listening to what I am saying in my brain and deciding if I believe what I am saying.
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Premonitions – lol – that is too funny. Hmm. Which ones do I write about? The time I dreamed my brother met his current wife, or when I knew she was pregnant. Or do I write about the time when I heard my former partner writing in her journal while she was a few hundred miles away. Or do I write about how I knew when my best friend’s husband and mother passed away. Or I could write about all the times, when I heard something inside me yelling at me “GET OUT” and I stupidly stayed. Or I could write about the times when I wanted to leave my current relationship, but I kept hearing this voice telling me to sit down and know this was who I was supposed to be with. or the times when I would be looking at the list of who is online and something would tell me I should drop them a quick IM and let them know something and they would be like thanks, I so needed to hear that right now. or the times that I realized that every time I went to this place I could leave the home and be well and be sick by the time I got there I was sick and then by the time I was home again, I was well again. Going there was literally making me sick.
Becoming physically ill has only happened to me twice.
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