Being a Janitor

March 15, 2023 Sharon Jacobson

Being a Janitor

I am the janitor of my life.
It came to me while
I was drinking a hot cup of soup
and my glasses fogged.
I was the one who caused my glasses to fog
and I am the one who had to give them time to defog
and to clean up after myself.
I have learned that sometimes I need to take them off
and just do one thing at a time.
Sometimes I create messes
when I do not need to.
I am the janitor,
the one who keeps my life in good condition and well maintained.
I am the one who has to vacuum and sweep up the debris,
mop up my life and keep it sanitized,
remove the trash,
recycle that which can still be used,
and keep the windows in my life
clean and clear,
just like my glasses
which steam up when I am drinking my soup.

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The Blame Game

September 10, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

The Blame Game

It seems like so often
we play the blame game.
It’s when we blame someone else
for outcomes,
rather then take responsibility
for ourselves and our own actions.
Like when my students want to blame me
because they did not do their homework
or engage in our discussions.
Or when I want to blame others
because I did not work my business
to the capacity I should have.
When I hear myself wanting
to blame others,
I stop and own my actions
or inactions and take responsibility.
The buck stops with me
as the saying goes.
I am the one responsible
for what I choose to do
or not do with my life.
The blame game has
no more room in my life.

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I am

June 28, 2019 Sharon Jacobson

I teach about injustice.
I teach about inequality.
I teach about oppression.
I teach about injustice.
I teach about my role
as an activist,
but I also teach about
how I contribute to the
system of inequality.

It is one thing for me to
speak out and do what I can
to fight,
to resist,
to dismantle,
to make this a better world.
However, I must also speak about
how I am part of the system,
passively or actively,
which contributes to the oppression.

I am
a resisister,
and I am
guilty.
I am
part of the problem and
I am
part of the solution.

I am
created by the great
I am
and in the image of
I am
I work to bring about change,
but I am
also part of the problem
I seek to change.

I am
created
by I am
to do the work of
I am
with all of who
I am.

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Releasing the Shame

December 14, 2014 Sharon Jacobson

A few years ago, I asked you to work with me and help me continue to grow and evolve spiritually. Ever since then you have provided me with opportunities to do just that. Most recently, you have reminded me to let go of self-judgment and blame. As Don Miguel Ruiz reminded me, in his writing about the first agreement, it is important to take responsibility for my actions but I should not judge or blame myself for anything. I thought I had been doing well at this until the last few weeks when I have found myself getting angry with myself for being incontinent at times. I would feel myself, especially when tired, getting upset with myself for not being able to make it to the bathroom. Thinking about this in terms of being impeccable has helped. I have had to work at being able to say what happened, but not feel shame or blame myself for something that is out of my control at this point in time. I am so grateful for my wife who has been so supportive and understanding, especially on those days when I am tired and begin to shame myself. She gently reminds me that I am the only one who is shaming me, nobody else in our household is. It has also reminded me how important it is to be the sacred observer and question what I believe about myself to say shameful and blaming things to myself.

I am Interesting!

September 20, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

Recently, a fellow blogger, Ariffa, nominated me for The Versatile Blogger award. It was not like it was one of those big deal awards. It was one of those ways of getting to know other bloggers and to allow other bloggers to get to know you. It was a simple process. You had to list fifteen bloggers that you follow with links to their websites (that was the easier part for me). Then you had to list seven things about you that were interesting. This is where I found myself being stuck. I realized as I stared at this blank screen that I did not think I, or my life, was interesting. The two things I wrote down were not things that I found interesting or thought other people would find interesting, but maybe different or unique. That was that I had six parents (birth, foster, and adoptive) and that I used to say I was part Vulcan as my left ear has a slight point to it. Neither of which seems to fit the definition of interesting, or so I thought. According to the dictionary interesting means, “arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.” The only thing I could think of is that sometimes I am able to arouse the curiosity and interest of my students through the material I share with them in the classroom.

The Dream of the Planet: Yours, Mine, and Ours

May 26, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

One of the basic concepts in Toltec Wisdom is “the dream of the planet.” In The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Toltec Wisdom, it is defined as “The combined energetic structure of beliefs, rules, and concepts that all the humans on our planet simultaneously dream and project onto our constrained reality.” looking at this definition, it can seem so overwhelming and difficult to understand. However, as I have come to understand it is that it occurs anytime two beings choose to connect with each other. When we connect, we have an exchange of energies and understandings, which flow between us. What stays in our relationship is that which we agree to or say yes to. What does not continue to be present in our relationship is that which we say no to. If we are still thinking about whether or not to keep it as part of our dream, it stays a maybe, but we have not yet decided to make it a part of the dream of our planet.

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