My New Story

So here I am at 4:47 am, unable to sleep, and I am not sure why that is. Perhaps because I was thinking about how much I have agreed to accomplish today. Perhaps because I wanted to take advantage of this quiet time when Zoe and the cats are sleeping, the phone is not ringing, and the computer is not telling me I have mail. Lol. I do love these quiet moments where I feel the freedom, quiet, and space to write letters to myself. It is as if somebody has put me this do not disturb sign on my life. It was strange for me to read what I wrote to myself last week. I think I needed to write that for me because it prepared me to face a situation with courage this week, which was about putting me back in the spotlight – well maybe not the spotlight, but the physical classroom five times a semester. It meant that I had to push myself pedagogically from teaching solely online to teaching my first hybrid class and facing my fear of the unknown. I had never done this. How can I do this?
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Is this my Prison or Ashram?

Have you ever thought about what the single worst thing which could happen in your life could be? if you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you I was fighting for my independence. It was a year ago this month that RGRTA moved from regular service to supplemental service, which means you virtually have no service. in real terms, it meant I could no longer leave my house by myself to go anywhere other then for a roll around the block. Every once in a while I have been fortunate enough to get a ride, but those are more of a rarity and not something I can ever count on.
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