I have never been much of a gardener. So learning from Billijo this past week has been an amazing blessing, I think for both of us. Watching her and asking her questions, I have come to realize the spiritual significance to gardening, working the dirt, and the secrets of gardening. It has been a journey that began when she first started, and has continued to reveal new secrets and spiritual lessons as the yard continues to be transformed.
While I have realized that this is her gift to us, I have wanted to do what I could to be a part of it. Billijo got me involved by having me sit next to the wheelbarrow with a sifter over it. She would bring me these clumps of grass and dirt and my job was to sift off the dirt and remove that which was not good soil.
Read moreCurb Appeal: The Soul
Zoë and I have lived in our home for about 6 years now. While we have slowly made changes to the inside of our home to make it feel more like us, our yard was another story. I have long felt like somebody should have nominated us for Curb Appeal: The Block. We definitely had the worst yard on the block. Now mind you nobody has said anything, but we knew. The original owners had had over planted and neglected the maintenance. We had continued that tradition and now things were dying because they were overcrowded. With neither of us being gardeners, we were not even sure what to do to enhance the curb appeal of our home.
Read moreLiving in the How
Last week, I wrote about the importance of leaning in. This Sunday, I was blessed with an opportunity to practice what I teach. It was one of those times, and maybe you have been there, where you are invited to an event you really do not want to go to. It is not that you cannot physically go. It is that you do not want to go. As a friend of mine said, it was one of those awkward times like when you are invited to your ex’s wedding. You are happy they have moved on and found someone who makes them happy, you wish them well, but you do not need to go to the wedding. It was that kind of thing.
So this Sunday morning was one of those moments for me. I knew the minute I saw the invitation I was not going to go.
Read moreBeing a Sacred Observer
Yesterday, I was challenged to do something I had not done in a while and that was to be mindful of what I said and what I thought. Denise Linn calls this being a sacred observer. Miguel don Ruiz uses a similar exercise in which he has you write down all those thoughts that float through your head. So often, we are not aware of the language of our thoughts. Even when we do not speak language that is disempowering, we may think it. It is a humbling experience when you observe your speech and thought patterns.
One of the things I wrote about in my process journal about being a sacred observer yesterday was how even others conversations can bring up disempowering and negative thoughts in our minds, especially when they trigger unhealed wounds.
Read moreLove thyself!
It really doesn’t matter what faith tradition you explore. When I look across ancient wisdom writings and contemporary writings on spirituality, I find myself coming across some very basic and simple teachings about loving one’s self. Over the last few years, I have been making notes about things I have learned to do and am working on doing in my life to bring myself to that place of unconditional self-love. The other day, I started organizing some of my notes, part of my spring cleaning ritual, and realized I had a whole list of lessons I had learned about how to be more loving of myself. I could probably write a whole book on this, so I thought I would share a few of the highlights J
Read moreNo More Casting Calls
Each of us in our own ways, consciously or unconsciously, has voluntarily played roles in our lives. Some of us have gotten so good at playing our roles that we no longer hear the Infinite Presence calling us to step out of the roles the world has cast us in, and step into the role of the true and authentic self. Some of us have chosen to conform to this world, not be transformed in it.
Some of us have been performing our roles for so long; we no longer realize we are still in character. It is as though in many respects the world has tamed us, domesticated us, and taught us how to conform to the ways of the world. We do so many things without even thinking about them, just because that is how we have been taught to do them
Read moreClearing out your inventory!
Teaching courses, such as the one I do at SUNY Brockport, means that I have the opportunity to interact with people from a wide diversity of belief systems. It is always amazing to me how a group of people can have such diverse perspectives and beliefs on everything. One of the things we have been discussing all semester is how beliefs and knowledge are socially constructed and so deeply embedded in our culture and our way of life that rarely do we think about or acknowledge that these are belief systems or that there are other ways of being in the world. One of the things a few of my students were discussing recently were those things they lost and unlearned as they have grown up. Don Miguel Ruiz talks about this as the domestication of the planet in his book The Four Agreements.
Read moreCommercials, Wolves, and The Four Agreements.
A week or so ago, I got an email from someone who asked me if I really practiced what I teach. Yes! So I thought I would share one of those moments with you. If you have been around me for any length of time, you know there are a few things I ask or say. One phrase is make it a commercial, not a documentary. Another is which wolf are you feeding? Does this fit with the four agreements?
For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, here is my cheat sheet. The Four Agreements is a book by Don Miguel Ruiz and the agreements in a nutshell are this:
1. be impeccable with your words – do not say anything negative about yourself or others
2. Don't take anything personally. – It’s only about you if you make it about you.
3. Don't make assumptions. – seek clarification and make sure you both understand each other.
4. Always do your best. YOUR best, not what I think is your best, but your best at any moment, knowing your best can change from moment to moment.
Read moreIf I were King/Queen of the Forest.
Have you ever had one of those times in your life when you get this song stuck in your head and you cannot seem to shake it? Ok, so it is not even a whole song. It is just one line from The Wizard of Oz. The Cowardly Lion sings the line when he is thinking about how different his life would be if he had courage. He starts off by singing “If I were king of the forest.” How often do we think to ourselves, if I were king of queen of the forest, I would do X in my life. I know I have played the what if version in a number of different ways in my life. If I were X, then I would do Y. If I were president, then I would do X.
My guess is that in many of us there is some aspect of the Cowardly Lion’s personality that lives and has taken up varying degrees of residence in our minds, spirits, and souls.
Read moreThe Greatest Love of All
I was sitting at the 2011 Miss Gay Rochester Pageant listening to Miss Kelly Valasquez Lord perform her rendition of Whitney Houston’s song The Greatest Love of All. Given all that has been happening in our country with youth on youth violence and youth suicide, I was struck by the timeliness of the message of this song. However, it was the chorus, which resonated with my spirit.
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
Learning to love ourselves is indeed the greatest gift of all.
Read moreNo more whips!
One of my readers emailed me last week to let me know how last weeks blog (No More Poison!) had caused him to think about things differently. He jokingly (I think) asked me what I was going to challenge him to give up this week. As I was thinking about this and listening to some people around me this week, I realized that one of the other things we need to get rid of in our lives are our whips. If I asked most people if they enjoyed being whipped, most people would say no. If I asked them if they would voluntarily whip themselves, most people would still say no. Yet why is it that we are good at whipping ourselves.
Read moreGifts through fear.
During Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s first inaugural address, we made a statement that many people still remember today. He said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” It would be nice if I could say that one could go through one’s life without ever experiencing fear. However, that would not be realistic. What is important to remember is that we can use fear as a way of evolving.
Read moreFree your mind and the rest will follow.
There is a song from my past, and perhaps some of yours, called Free Yourself by En Vogue. One of the lines in the chorus says – Free your mind and the rest will follow. Their song challenges the listeners to free themselves from the stereotypes they may hold about black women. It reminds me of a poem by Pat Parker, who wrote a poem called “To the white woman who wants to be my friend.” Both of them challenge us to free ourselves from the stereotypes and prejudices that interfere with our ability to form deep and meaningful relationships with people. These stereotypes and prejudices can enslave us. Often times these ideologies are so engrained in what we believe that we are not even aware that we are enslaved to them.
Read moreIt is all about the journey!
A woman I knew back in the early 90’s once said to me, “it takes a long time to grow an old friend.” Those who have journeyed with you for a while have this ability to be able to reflect back to you that which you cannot see for yourself. The other day, for example, I was talking with my spiritual sister, Rev Angel Sullivan, who reflected back to me about how much she has seen me evolve spiritually in the last year.
Spiritual evolution is not always easy. One reason it is difficult is that we have to let go of that which keeps us from evolving into our spiritual greatness.
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