Out of Exile

I remember the process
Of sending the parts of me
I sent them into exile
because I had internalized
the lies,
others had told me were truths.
It wasn’t all at once.
It was a process of
not seeing my beauty
not owning my intelligence
not appreciating all of
who God created me to be.

Then I recognized the lies.
I remembered the truth that
God loves me
just as I am.
I opened my arms
welcomed the pieces home
sought forgiveness
and embraced all of
who I am and who
I was created to be.


The power of the past and the importance of the present.

Once again, I have learned how easy it is to be sucked into the power of the past and forget that none of us is the same person we were in the past. The other day, my son called crying and then hung up on me and immediately I became concerned for him, his caregivers, and the other young man in his life. Why? Because I remembered all the other times he had lost control when he was with me and how he was. I remembered the time he nearly hit me over the head with a 2 x 4. I remembered all the other times he had become angry and became physically aggressive with myself and others and I assumed that this was what was happening again. The next day when I spoke to his caregiver, I learned that he had not been physical at all. He had been far more appropriate then I have ever known him to be.
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Dear Sharon

Dear Sharon – I just wanted to let you know how proud I was of you yesterday. You spoke your truth in love. In a space where you could have responded out of anger, you chose to respond out of love and compassion and help the other person release their guilt. I know that forgiving them was important. I also know forgiving yourself was equally important. In doing so, you set both of you free. I know there were moments where you wanted to listen to the Inner Judge telling you how this was your fault. However, you need to remember that when you made the decision you did, it was the best decision you could have made in those circumstances
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Week 8, Day 1 – Forgiveness

Hmm. The one that really is speaking to me the most is #3. So I guess I will be coming back to this entry for the next week. Isn’t that kind of like life – a work in progressJ? So this morning my first thought was how I just wanted to make it to the bathroom on time and then when I did I was angry because I realized I was having my first period in over a year. I thought I was through with this part of my life. Not really holding any grudges this morning and am at a space where the one thing in my life which is unresolved, well I know in time it is going to be resolved. So that is a good thing. I can live with knowing it is all going to be ok. I think it helped that I have clarification from CDR about what they will do for me as an individual and how I can work to get others involved systemically. So let me take just a moment to pray before I get started with my day.
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