Thank you for the gift of memory. I remember years ago reading something in Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book Simple Abundance about how one should write down five things one is grateful for before going to bed each night. She talked about how as time passes and we fill our journal with blessings, we will experience an inner shift in our reality. I am generally so tired when I go to bed that I do not do this, but it is the first thing that I do in the morning and it is an awesome way for me to begin my morning. There is nothing like starting off the morning by thanking you for all you do for me and have done in my life. It just starts my morning off with the right mindset for the rest of the day.
The funny thing is that I have been writing in my gratitude journal for so long now that I could not remember how long it has been. So this morning I checked and found out I started on December 31, 2012. So it has almost been three years. I have kept them on and off before, but this time I have managed to keep it going for three years now. I have to agree with Sarah doing so has contributed to an inner shift in my reality. Not only do I begin my day by giving thanks, but I end my day by telling my wife at least one thing she did that day which made me feel loved or for which I am grateful.
Read moreIt is funny how grace seems to pop into our conversations with people this month even when I am not expecting it to. So many of my conversations with people this month have been about our own experiences of grace and the ways it has happened to us. However, the other night at our Living the Five Agreements group, we began to talk about how we need to be a grace in other people’s lives as well. There is a line from the play The Man of La Mancha, where Don Quizote says "I just wanted to add a measure of grace to the world."
As I have thought about this line I was reminded of a song I once heard at a Mormon church, it was all about the call to add a measure of grace to the world.
Read moreThis has been one of those weeks where I have had to practice grace on myself as I took time to keep myself from getting sick and cutting a cold off before it had time to develop. I gave myself permission to take time away from work to spend time with friends and do something fun with Zoe on her day off, now that she actually has them. I forgave myself for not getting my blogs written on grace and practiced grace as I could with my students and others in my life.
My friend DeeDee talks about how so often people will say “You didn’t have to do that” when you do something for them. Then she or her friend would say “But aren’t you glad that I did.”
Read moreI wanted to take a minute to thank you for helping me learn to accept the help of others. I have always been good at giving, but not so great at receiving. I think part of that came from me not feeling worthy. I doubted why anyone would want to give to me or to share with me when they could share with someone of greater value. I even had problems accepting a compliment. I struggled to believe that anybody could think there was anything nice to say about me.
Then I hit bottom. I lost the feeling in my right leg and the ability to drive. Then I lost my paratransit services. With each loss, I had to open myself up to asking for help. I had to ask friends for rides to work, to the grocery store, to the doctor’s office. It was so humbling, and still is, when others so willingly give so that my needs might be met.
Read moreDear God,
I am not even sure what to say today. Other than please forgive me. I am just going to start with that. I have been intentional about my thoughts, words, and deeds on so many levels. However, today was one of those moments when I was intentional about what came out of my mouth, but not what went into my mouth or through my head. So please forgive me for not really thinking about why I was craving something fatty. Forgive me for not turning my back on the custard when I realized it was not the frozen yogurt, I had originally thought it was. Forgive me for not being intentional enough about my feelings, thoughts and actions.
Some days I am so much better at being intentional then others. So rather than beat myself up for what I did today
Read moreDear God,
I want to thank you for the reminder of the transformative power of love. I was so moved by this video and the story of those who radiated love out to those whose actions and beliefs had led to such a devastating effect on their lives and families. As I watched it, I was reminded of how my Bubby had taught me to pray for those who hurt me. That lesson first started when I was 13, at least that is when I first remember it. It was when I was gang raped by people I went to school with and had to sit in the same room as so I could finish my education. She had told me that I needed to pray for my own healing, but that I also needed to pray for forgiveness and healing for all those who had violated me.
She would always tell me that holding on to hate for them would only make me sick, angry, and bitter and that was not who you had created me to be. So she taught me to pray for them and for me until there was only love in my heart and I had forgiven them for what they had done. Maybe that is why I was at such piece decades later when one of them came to pay his condolences when I was home preparing for my father’s funeral. It was odd that he needed to come by after all those years to seek forgiveness. He somehow thought that he needed me to forgive him; the sad thing was that I had done that decades ago.
Read moreSo I am not sure why I ever doubt whether or not I will know what to write you about when I sit down to journal with you. Seriously, like I would ever run out of things to talk with you about. I guess that is why my faith in you is so strong. I know I can have a conversation with you about absolutely everything in my life. I probably censor what I need to say less with you then with anyone. Maybe that is because I know you hear all my thoughts anyway, so why try to come to you and pretend I am someone that I am not. You observe my thoughts, my words, my actions, and have already searched my heart. So there is no need for me to pretend with you.
While I would like to say I have always been this close to you, I know that is not the case.
Read moreSo I was sitting here this morning about all I have been through in my life and I know that I have made it here because of my personal relationship with you. It is through you and my relationship with you that I have come to experience an intimacy that I have not been able to experience with a human person, not even Zoe, and I know you sent her into my life.
I think about all the times I came close to dying and you would whisper in my ears, all is well my daughter and then you brought me through. I think about all the times I wondered how I was going to make it through the summer financially and you always provided for me one way or the other. I think about all the times I doubted if I was doing what you wanted and needed me to do in my life and you would send someone to say thank you. I think about the times I had those moments of doubt as to whether I could do something or not and you would say, come Sarah Bella, let’s do this.
Read moreToday I just want to thank you for helping me starve myself to health. For so long in my life, I have held onto fears which have contributed to health problems and eating issues. While I know you have been waiting for me to be ready to do the healing work, it was not until about a year ago that I was ready to tackle the hardest of the issues and fears.
That is when I had to be like a jaguar and stalk out the single biggest fear underlying my relationship with food. Once I pulled it out, root and all, I was able to starve those fears to depth. As I did so, it gave me new understanding of the Cherokee story about the two wolves. In most aspects of my life, the wolf of love and faith had prevailed.
Read moreThis month, as I have been thinking about the practice of faith, I have come to realize the importance of reflecting on the beliefs on which my faith is built and which govern the way I live my life and practice my faith. What I believe has been influenced by what I learned while attending Hebrew School, growing up in a Jewish home, my study of scripture, and my readings. Probably most influential in my life has been the writings of don Miguel Ruiz, Pema Chodron, Osho, Rev Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi.
I believe that we are born in the image of the Ultimate Consciousness, who is love and that we are called, as stated in Micah 6:8, to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with God. I believe that we are all called to speak the truth in love and to do justice with a spirit of non-violence. I believe the Ultimate Consciousness is greater than any single denomination or school of thought. I believe the Ultimate Consciousness has spoken to people through a diversity of sacred texts and is present in a diversity of worship communities.
Read moreI have been reading a book by Joan Chittister called A Passion for Life: Fragments of the Face of God. It is a book about more than two dozen saints and prophets--from Hildegard of Bingen to Martin Luther King, Jr., --who speak to the urgent spiritual questions of our time. Reading this book has gotten me thinking about who the “living saints” are in my life. Who are the people for me who have inspired me spiritually? Who are the people whose enthusiasm for the Divine has been contagious and helped me grow and evolve in my own life?
I came across a picture of Mother Teresa on a cover of Time magazine which called her a living saint. It got me thinking what do I even mean by saint?
Read moreSo I have been thinking this month about devotion and what I am devoted to and how I express my devotion. Recently, someone asked me how I can express my devotion without being a part of a formal worship community. I smiled as I realized that for me, I am part of a formal worship community. I gather each day with my readers around the world in our own way and in our own time and we meditate on a thought you have led me to each day. Then I give thinks for at least five things that have happened or I have become aware of in the last 24 hours. Sometimes I feel like there are more than five, but I always feel as if I am supposed to stop at five for some reason. Maybe that is because the number 5 is about your grace and goodness. I remember reading once that the Ten Commandments are really two sets of five commandments. The first five have to do with our treatment and relationship with you and the last five have to do with our relationship with others.
Read moreDear Ultimate Consciousness,
The past few days I have been thinking about all the ways devotion takes form in my life. Today’s thought for the day seems to capture the essence of what I have been feeling. I have been thinking about how I practice devotion to the Ultimate in my life and how I practice devotion to my own personal self-development and to my relationship with those I love.
I guess it really hit me last night when I was talking about my relationship with you at the spiritual journaling workshop. I have been using the phrase I picked up from Doreen Virtue’s book Assertiveness Training for Earth Angels and telling people I am employed by God Inc. I love the understanding that comes from knowing you hired me to do specific things here on earth and it is in the process of doing so that I am able to practice and experience devotion in my life.
Read moreI remember when I was pastoring how once a month we would pour libations. When I water the plants, which I should do more often, I think about my parents and many of their relatives who went before them. I also think about my foster parents and my birth parents, who I have no memories of and honor them.
Initially, I thought this was an African spiritual tradition. Then I became aware of how it was also a Native American tradition. Recently, I became aware this is also a part of Shin Buddhism and is known as the Pure Land Tradition. According to Taitetsu Unno this tradition emphasizes awakening to "the Name-that-calls" and recognizing the boundless compassion that sustains and connects all of life. Some of this message is conveyed in the following poem by Mitsu Aida.
Read moreLast week I wrote a letter to my Mom thanking her for being one of my spiritual and moral mentors. She and my Bubby are the first two, which came to my mind. As I have thought about all the spiritual and moral mentors in my life I have come to realize that while some of them were people I knew, others were people I have never met. Some of my teachers have been people who served as examples of how I did not want to be because I saw the harm they inflicted on others. Yet I need to give thanks to them as well, although I will not mention them by name as the lessons they taught me were decades ago and I would not want them to be judged, by this one incident.
This reminds me that Sister Helen Prejean, one of those women I have never met, taught me a valuable lesson.
Read moreLast night I was watching a video Zoe had found about gratitude and happiness. In the video, people wrote letters to someone they were grateful for in their lives. Then they were asked to call that person and read them the letter if they could. This morning I woke up thinking about my mom. I am so grateful for all she taught me during her time here on earth. One of the things she taught me about was how to be compassionate towards others. Mom, I hope that you can read these words as I put them out into the Universe, that place where we are of one (uni) verse. That place where we are one with each other. I love you. If you were here and I had to read this to you, I would probably go through about three boxes of tissues.
Read moreDear God,
I have been sitting here the last few days thinking about a question somebody asked me about what my spiritual rituals are like. What do I do to stay connected, focused, and balanced? As I have been thinking about this, I realized there were multiple ways for me to answer this question. On the one hand, you are one of the first things I think about every morning. I get up, go to the bathroom, and come to the computer, think about our theme for the month and post a thought to give others and myself something to think about. Then I open my gratitude journal and write down five things I am grateful for in my life. Most days I also try to write down why I also appreciate that which I just gave thanks for in my life. Then I write one thing that is inspiring me each day. Finally, I think about what I want to manifest in my life that day. That is one way for me to talk about what I do to stay connected with you.
However, that is more about what I do, and while it is a part of what keeps me feeling like I am in your presence, there is so much more to it than that.
Read moreSo today I just want to thank you for the reminder to not run, not that I can physically run anyway (LOL). I was looking for quotes about being present I could use for the thoughts for the day this month, when I stumbled upon this powerful reminder from Geri Larkin in The Still Point Dhammapada. “
Being upright means staying smack dab in the middle of what's going on. No running away. No pretending that the situation is any different than it is. It means breathing in and out and listening to our heart. And asking only one question: What can I do right this minute? Sometimes I think of it as "mountain and river" practice. Detroit is all too often a mountain of heartbreaks and a river of sorrows. All I can do is look for cracks where some help can be offered. Sometimes I can only witness. Some days I can only pick up garbage or make the first call to a shelter or delete the email and chant for the person who wrote it.
Read moreI seriously want to thank you for your sense of humor and for listening to my prayers. If I ever needed to know that you were present, you let me know today. This morning I was thinking carefully about what I wanted my intention to be as this is grading frenzy weekend for midterms. However, I said that I was going to make the time to perform a random act of kindness. So thank you for providing me with the time and the opportunity to extend kindness to someone who was in need.
Read moreWhat a blessing to have woken up to a note from MARVELLINE MARVELS, who stumbled upon my blog this morning and nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. It is such a blessing to be recognized and honored by one’s peers. I learn so much from other bloggers and I pray that the meditations of my heart inspire others as well. Amen. Ashe. And so it is.
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