Perhaps one of the most important qualities in spiritual growth is courage. Courage is what enables us to move through our fears rather then cover them up. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and leader in Men’s Studies, illustrated one way even our youth have learned to cover up their fears. He said the easiest way to start a fight is to walk on to a playground and ask which one of the kids playing is gay. The fear of anyone thinking you are gay is enough to provoke an all out effort to prove their masculinity, and to demasculate others. There are aspects of our personality, which we are supposed to cover up. We are not supposed to show weakness, especially men. “Are you a baby?”
Read moreThe P Word
I was talking with an associate of mine about, what my son calls the P word, Patience. She said when she used to preach about it, she would say, “God I need patience, and I need it now.” The interesting thing about patience is that we have the capability of being patient at any point in time in our lives. We just have to choose to work what a friend of mine calls the patience muscle.
Unlike things like time which we all have the same amount of regardless who we are. regardless of our race, ethnicity, sexuality, class, sex, etc. we all have 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute. What we do with those 24 hours may differ, but we all have the same amount of time in a single day. Patience, unlike time, is one quality one can acquire greater levels of over time. The secret is in working your P muscle. As many wisdom teachers have argued, the more you practice patient, the more patient you become
Read moreStaying grateful
Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is one of those things which most people find relatively easy to do when things are going well in their lives. When you have a secure and well paying job, it is easy to give thanks. When your relationship is stable, it is easy to give thanks. When you are doing well health wise, it is easy to give thanks. The problem is that most of us have those days in our life when our job may be at risk, or we may be worried about trying to find one.
Read moreTestify!
There are those moments in time which stay with you and inspire you throughout your life. One of those moments for me was the day I first heard the song Testify to Love by Avalon. I was watching an episode of Touched by an Angel about a young boy who was dying and his last wish was that his mom would finish a song she had started writing. She finished the night he died. The lyrics to this song always remind me of the importance of giving thanks for all the goodness in our loves. Whether it is, as the song says, the colors of the rainbow, the voices of the wind, or the simple acts of mercy, it is important to give thanks.
Read moreIt’s repo time!
The other day I saw some commercial about these people who repossess things for a living. While I am sure that some people enjoy spending time watching other people’s stuff be repossessed, I am certain I will never watch it. However, as I was sorting through my feelings about the whole repo industry, I came to the understanding that at various times in my life I had allowed some things, which had been of value to me, to be repossessed. I am not talking about cars or any other material possession, but my self-love, self-esteem, appreciation of self, inner dignity, potential, and some other amazing qualities and gifts.
Read moreCan we talk?
Sometimes it can be a scary thing when we listen to the things we say to ourselves, never mind each other. When we consciously listen to what we are saying to ourselves, we can catch ourselves slipping into a state of negativity. A space when we begin to lie to ourselves. When we hear someone we love start to say negative and self-deprecating things about themselves, we might jump in and help them to look at the space they are in that is enabling them to speak this way about themselves. However, who does it for us, especially when those thoughts are not coming out of our mouths, but just floating around in the back of our head.
Read moreWho are we?
I was watching a 2-minute video by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Truth about Cats and Dogs. He talked about how cats do not identify themselves as cats or dogs as dogs or any animal as a species or series of roles. As we are not a part of those species, we will never know that for sure. However, his whole point was that we are more then any word we use to identify ourselves.
As I thought about this, I found myself going back to a story from the book of Exodus in the Hebrew Bible. There Moses asks God, who shall I say sent me.
Read moreRecapturing I can
For some this may be easier then others, but can you remember a time when you were young and free enough to think you could do anything. Take a moment and remember that time when you could imagine yourself as whatever you chose to be, you could travel to far off places and accomplish amazing things in the world. One of my favorite films is the movie UP! In part because it captures the imaginary and liberating creativity experienced by Elie and Carl as they formed a secret club and fantasized about traveling to Paradise Falls, somewhere in South America, as part of their fantasy of finding the once famous explorer Charles Muntz and his blimp The Spirit of Adventure.
Read moreThe black, white, and greys of life.
It seems as if so many people are searching for the truth. As if there is A truth to any question. As I remember reading somewhere once, when we stop looking the minute we find a right answer, then we miss all the other right answers. Sometimes it feels as if we are on this question to prove what we know or how we do something is the right way and the way that will lead to eternal truth. That leads me to a question, which I know I will not be able to answer here and that is what truth is.
Read moreThe Lens of Love
Whenever I go to the ophthalmologist’s office, they check my eyes to see how my vision is doing. While they are able to see behind my eye and assess all kinds of information about my vision, they are unable to assess how I see people. see there is more to our vision then just whether or not it is 20/20 or if we need corrective lenses or contacts to enable us to see better. When it comes to seeing others or ourselves the only lens we need to wear is a lens of love.
How we see others and ourselves is about us and where we are at in our journeys. If we cannot see ourselves through a lens of love, then how can we see others through that lens? The lens of love is unconditional. Some refer to this as agape love, a love that transcends the ability to be frustrated. It cannot be frustrated because there is no expectation attached to it. When we see others and ourselves through this lens of unconditional love, it means we have released our expectations for others and ourselves. When we see ourselves getting frustrated with someone because they have not fulfilled my expectations, it is a signal that our love for them conditional.
Read moreYou are the answer to your prayer!
Recently I read someone’s blog where they spoke about how they were waiting for God to hear and answer their prayers. As I read it, I had this image of God as a virtual assistant. Then I had this kind of comedic conversation going on in my head. “God, thank you for checking in this morning. Listen, this is what I need you to do for me. I need you to find a job for the people on this list, heal the people on this list, bless the people on this list, and in your spare time, can you end world hunger, restore world peace, dismantle the systems of inequality, and help it to be on earth as it is in heaven
Read moreBe a Leap Frog
When I taught Sunday School to youth, which now seeks multiple reiterations of my life ago, I talked with the children about being a FROG. This was an acronym for being Fully Reliant On God. So often, even as adults, we need to be reminded of the need to be receptive each moment to our connection to the Divine. Amazing things happen in our lives when we stay Fully Reliant on the Divine/God/Higher Power.
As a child, we used to play Leap Frog. Sometimes we would leap forward in baby leaps.
Read moreJudging Others is Judging Self
I have been rereading sections of a book from last month’s Spirituality Book Club called Dancing with your Dragon by Shaeri Richards. One section made me realize that when I judge others I am really judging myself. Shaeri shares the story about how she could have so easily gotten into an argument with her husband over whether or not her butt was looking too big. As she wrote about it, this was a no win situation for him, because no matter what he said it was not going to be what she needed to hear. Even if he said of course not dear, she would not believe him. How she heard how he answered this question was all about her, and had very little to do with him.
Read moreHave you broke free?
When you look back across time, one finds a trail of people who have broke loose from the shackles that were on their body, mind, and soul. They broke loose from society’s expectations of them and societal norms. They had a vision of what they were to do, took a leap of faith, and have contributed to the change they wanted to see in the world. They did as Ghandi had suggested and became the change they wanted to see in the world.
Read moreLoving my “enemies”
Most people I know, when they think about their “enemies,” do not talk about loving them. What if we did though? What if we put our “enemies” on the top of our prayer list and blessed them? Why is it that every faith tradition in the world teaches one to love their “enemies”? Is there even an “enemy?”
Iyanla Vanzant once wrote about being grateful for those who got on your last nerve. I could not agree more. I have learned so much from those I had once considered my “enemies.”
Read moreDecoding your Spiritual DNA
Last week, I challenged us to activate our spiritual DNA. The question, however, is how does one do that. While there are some questions we can each meditate on and explore, the journey to activate our spiritual DNA is different for each of us. This is not a one size fits all kind of journey. One of the books I have been reading is called Soul Types by Robert Norton and Richard Southern. They suggest there are four soul types, which are the ways in which we live out our identity, values, purpose, and vision. All four types reside within each of us as possibilities, but most of us choose one or two to focus on more directly. Each one is centered on something different: heart, mind, soul, and strength.
Read moreActivate your DNA
Are you ready to activate your DNA? When I ask about activating your DNA, I am not asking about your genetic DNA, but your spiritual DNA. We are far more then our genetic coding. Our genetic coding also contains spiritual coding from the Divine buried within us, like a treasure in a clay jar. It has always been there waiting for us to choose to connect with it, cultivate it, activate it, and express it in our lives. While our genetic DNA makes us candidates for all kinds of traits in our lives, our spiritual DNA makes a perfect candidate for enlightenment and transformation. Those qualities and traits will lay dormant in us until we choose to activate them. We are the ones who have to choose to engage in a spiritual journey. Until we do, our spiritual DNA lies dormant.
Read moreWhere Joy Resides
During our love and inspiration gathering on Sunday, April 1st one of the women in our gathering suggested that on the 8th (Easter Sunday for those who celebrate Easter) we have a dinner instead of our morning gathering. With the group’s enthusiastic approval, as well as my wife’s endorsement pending my willingness to make my baked ham and seven cheese mac and cheese, we agreed to do so. Shortly after some of our guests arrived and the abundance of food was on the table, one of our guests received a call from a family member in crisis and she needed to call 911. Our guests responded in different ways. One woman asked me for assistance with 911. Another began crying because it stimulated some of her past behavior. A third one felt helpless because she was not sure how to help her niece.
Read moreWhat are you filling up with?
The other night I was watching a commercial with all these people filling their gas tanks. It made me think about how what we put in our car, and the ability to keep the tank full of the right kind of gasoline, will determine how smoothly, if at all, our cars run. If there is no gas in the tank, one is not going anywhere and then winds up reaching out for help.
In some respects, this is like our lives. We are what flows through us.
Read moreWhere do you live?
This past week, I have had a chance to talk with a wide diversity of people with differing attitudes about life. Some of them seem to be living in a garden where life is blooming and others seem to be living in a minefield where they are waiting for the next bomb in life to go off. So where are you living? Are you living in a garden, a minefield, or a prison?
Minefields are loaded with bombs hidden under the terrain. When one steps on a mine, you can be blown up by bombs of worry, doubt, fear, lack, and limitation.
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